Don’t keep yourself waiting

From the day we’re born, who we truly are is buried beneath who we’re expected to be.

A name is chosen for us. A number becomes our oh so vital tie to an identity. We are then thrust into the belief systems of our parents, guardians, or caregivers. We’re told who our God is, what religion to follow, and which book will guide us. We’re told going to college, settling down, getting married, and having kids is the definition of a successful life. Before we’re conscious of our own thoughts, we’re told what to think, what to like and dislike. We’re told to never question our parents or authority and the first thing we’re taught in kindergarten is how to stand in line.

We’re gradually introduced to a world thats prepared to further culturally condition us based on the geographical location of our childhood neighborhood. We’ll take on the group persona of our friends and family throughout life and our actions/attitudes/style are coerced and swayed deeply by the music we listen to, news we subject ourselves to, and movies we entertain ourselves with.

Bottom line, you aint you. You’re the character your little corner of the world told you to be your whole life. I used to play a part too. Ignorance was bliss until it all changed the day I held the first child to ever die in my arms. That day was the first day I came face to face with my own mortality and Ironically, I found my true self behind the mask of a character as fictional as who I thought Ricky was. My ptsd and other mental illnesses are just coping mechanisms to a brain and soul in shock from no longer being behind a veil and is conscious of its real self for the first time ever and yeah, its terrifying.

I’m not Ricky. Thats just a name. When I look in the mirror I don’t see “Ricky”. Im more than that, more then a number, and im beyond my preprogrammed beliefs. Thats why I’m capable of loving people enough to see that they are more than all of that too. We’re more than all the silly lines we draw between ourselves to differentiate who we are.

So, dont lose hope. For the first time ever, think for yourself. Let go, drop your guard, and meet the real you for the first time. Don’t keep yourself waiting…